Being unemployed... Seemingly aimless...

Lately, being unemployed has reinforced something to me...  I feel less of a man w/o a steady source of income.  It makes me feel... helpless.  A man doesn't like feeling helpless.  More than feeling helpless, not knowing what to do with my life...  It's just too much.  I want to ensure my child (or children if you count the future) is covered for his (or their) college education.  I want to settle down with my fiancée and buy our own house, start a life together.  I want to have enough money to get life insurance, travel the world, enjoy the finer things life has to offer.  But with the way I'm going right now, I'm afraid (literally) that I wouldn't have enough time to make these things happen.  Before I know it, it's game over... 


Am I alone though?  Search Google, type "I don't know what I'm doing with my life" and you'd be surprised how many websites come up, how many articles are written by people who either want to genuinely help, or make money out of you, or both.  The sad thing is, knowing I'm not alone in this mind-numbing maze, doesn't make me feel any better.  I don't care if other people are as lost, less lost, or more lost than I am, all I care for is finding my own way.  And I need to find it, pronto!  Like, I needed it yesterday!


I'm just sounding off you understand.  Despite the overwhelming negativity of my sentiments, I still believe that things have a way of happening, for better or for worse, even if you just sit around at home, staring at the ceiling.  Let's see which way it goes for me and my so-called life.

What makes a man happy?

So, today I've been thinking about what would make me happy as a man.  In no particular order, let me count the ways:

1. To be able to ensure that my kid or kids get a good education.  What they make of their lives after getting an education is up to them.
2. To make my would-be wife happy, content, and satisfied with her life beside me.
3. To be able to adequately provide financially by being gainfully employed until I could no longer lift a finger. - I gotta start working on this one.
4. To be able to see the world, or as much of the world as I can afford, with my beloved, before I die.
5. To be able to finally afford my own house, and live as an adult in my own home.
6. To be able to stop smoking.  I'm hoping before I'm dead.
7. To be able to get ready for "the end" gracefully, by getting a life insurance that would cover it and then some left over for my family.
8. And finally, to be able to go quietly into the night...  Preferably without too much pain =D

Of course, there are some things I didn't actually put in there.  Maybe I'll write about them in the future...  Maybe :)

Job hunting resumes January 2010

I sent my application for a position in Singapore...  I'm keeping my fingers crossed!  Someone called me today, offering me a temp job as a trainer for the Smartmatic voting machines to be used in the upcoming 2010 presidential elections.  I was gonna be paid 1,200 per day, food and accommodations not included (I was to be sent to a province where I'm supposed to have relatives).  It's not too bad of a deal I guess, but it's not enough either.

Finished Splinter Cell: Double Agent (ps2) for the 2nd time today.  That game rocks!  And I also got my car's idling adjusted so it's not too much of a wasted day.

Lastly, today is our monthsary!  We've been together 2 years and 8 months.  I miss my sweet little love kitten.

That's all for now.  Till next time :)

Another day...

I've been unemployed since September 22, 2009, my last day with HP Asia Pacific.  Since then, I haven't really seriously looked for gainful work.  Mainly because, I wanted to take time to reflect on what I really want to do in life.

I've had misgivings working in the call center industry, with its freakishly harsh schedules which would sometimes (actually often) require you to work the graveyard shift, holidays, and weekends.  If you're really unfortunate, sometimes your 2 rest days would even be spaced apart from each other within the work week!

So, what else is there for me?  I wanted to go into business, but I lack the financial muscle to mount such an offensive, at least for now.  Working from home sounds great, but I don't have any sort of useful technical skills save for my typing speed, passable English, and a supervisory and training background.  What is left for someone like me then?  I know, I sound really desperate.  Maybe that's because to a certain extent, I am.  My fiancée and I are planning big things for 2011, and the only things to my name are my car, and my ps2.  I don't even have a savings account (unless you count the ATM account left over from HP).  My days are spent in a dazed stupor, and I'm even having a hard time falling asleep with all these worries in my head.

To a large extent, my predicament is MY fault, and mine alone.  Why?  I should've been more conscious about saving and investing money, living below my means, and finding more ways to earn income on the side. I should've learned how to be more sociable, to be more forgiving of incompetent people.  I should've learned how to handle my temper, and do a better job of hiding my dislike.

So here's the plan: Find another job where I'll do my best to be friendly, put up a low-capital business on the side, try my damnedest to save and invest money, and marry my fiancée and start a family.  Who knows, maybe I'll even be able to afford a ps3 later on hehehe.

My 1st blog...

So what are you supposed to say on your 1st ever blog?  I don't know, so for now, I'll just say, hello :D.