Love, Sex, Money, Time and Distance

Alrighty, what do you think of the title?  Perhaps it's strange that I'm writing about this now, since this is such a break from what I usually blog about.  But on the other hand, I think it's about time I write about it.  Truth is, I once was married.  We've separated since and had our ill-fated union annulled, but the words she left me as to the reason why we didn't work out haunts me to this day.  She actually mentioned just three: love, sex, and money.  2 out of 3 is okay, she said, but we only have 1 out of 3, so it wasn't worth the effort.  I've taken the liberty of adding the fourth and fifth: time and distance.  I've realized that most, if not all, relationships fall by the wayside due to these 5 factors, and I've decided to just tackle them today.  IF by any chance you think I'm wrong, feel free to call my attention.

LOVE.
So, what about this general term?  Let's not mince words, I'll put it in bullet form.

• fell out of love
• fell in love with somebody else
• too little
• too much
• not in love in the first place (situational)

SEX.
Ahh sex.  So good, yet so bad.

• too little sex (usually for one of the parties involved)
• too much sex (again, usually for one of the parties involved)
• having sex with somebody else
• no sex at all (no more attraction or too much anger that the intimacy is lost)
• unsatisfactory performance of one or both parties (when one or both won't give in to the desires and wants of the other for satisfaction, assuming it's reasonable)

MONEY.
Money makes the world go round.  And relationships last, apparently.

• too little money (it's always more is better, yes?)
• no money! (supposedly, husband is lazy and not doing enough to make money... You expect the wife to work?!? No, they're for staying in the house looking all pretty and taking care of the kids - with a nanny and maids, of course)
• no money!! (where's the future in a relationship when the guy can't even afford the finer things in life eh?)
• NO MONEY!!! (you can't even get married the right way, don't expect to hold on to a relationship)
• lots of money (maybe in some VERY rare circumstances only, if any)

TIME.
What competes for his/her time? 

• family, work, friends, hobbies
• iPAD, smartphone games
• Twitter, Facebook, Foursquare 

DISTANCE.
Distance is not only a physical separation, but can also be emotional, spiritual, and mental.

• differences in opinion (pride on who's right)
• spouse is abroad
• differences in religion, upbringing, beliefs
• differences in education (boredom might set in)

There you have it, my 5 main reasons why relationships fail.  There might be subsets, but these, in my opinion, are the real culprits.  LOVE is a category all its own actually, since falling out of love might be a result of a lack in the other 4 reasons, or it just happens that even though everything else is perfect, you just lose it.  The other 4 are things you can do something about (be more open-minded about sex, work harder, don't spend too much time with other friends, etc.) but if love fades, it's game over anyway.

The real reason why I wrote this is to acknowledge the power of these factors in my life.  And because I'm bored and I want to write a new blog post.

See you next time!
- jon

Kickstart The Sales Process

So how do you motivate people to buy from you?  As I mentioned in my last post, if your product is unique, and you're the only one selling it, and it's something that is needed and wanted, you'd be laughing your way to the bank, and you don't even need to be nice or build relationships.  However, that's not very likely.  What should you be looking at to improve your odds of selling then?  We should look at the reasons why people buy.  As far as I know, there are 3 reasons why people buy:

• There's a need and/or want that has to be satisfied; and/or
• There's a dissatisfaction from a product/service that has to be alleviated; and/or
• There's a problem that has to be solved.

Knowing the reasons why we buy, what then motivates us to buy?  What hastens the decision-making process to make us part with our hard-earned money and overcome the fear of failure (failure of making the wrong choice/decision)?  According to the venerable Brian Tracy, there are 7 motivators to the buying behavior, provided any or all of the 3 reasons to buy exist:

• Money - the offer will make more money for the buyer
• Lower Cost - the offer will save money for the buyer
• Convenience - the offer is more convenient or bring more convenience
• Speed - the offer saves time or does not waste time
• Beauty - the offer satisfies the aesthetic taste of the buyer or makes the buyer feel beautiful
• Ego - the offer gives the buyer the impression of being first in line or top of the line or state of the art or the object of envy; boosts the buyer's pride and self-image
• Position (business sales) - the offer improves the buyer's position in the company and/or in the eyes of his/her immediate superior

Okay, long story short, the objective is to show people that buying your product will improve their lives dramatically in ways that are important to them.  Let's now move to the questions that you have to be ready for when you offer your product or service.  Keep in mind that even if your product or service answers a need and/or want, solves a problem they have and alleviates dissatisfaction, you have to be able to prove this to them.  The questions that you have to be able to answer are:

• "Why should I listen to you?" and "So what?" - You should be able to hurdle these two questions when you first approach a prospect.  Imagine your prospect asking you why they should listen to you, and for whatever answer you have to that, the next question is "so what?"  The purpose of keeping these two questions in mind is for you to focus on how you can help the prospect better than anybody else.  This will help you think of ways to position yourself and your product/service that will make it hard for your prospect to ignore you and the solution you have for whatever problem they have.
• "Who else has done it?" or "Who else has bought this product/service?" - This is all about social proof.  We all want to know who else owns it or who else has had the same challenge we have that the product/service has helped.  We don't want to waste time, we don't want to unnecessarily take a risk and buy something that nobody else has bought.  The best social proof is somebody who's relatively famous or well known.  If you can bring out signed testimonials of people who own and enjoy your product/service even if they're not famous, that will still be better than nothing at all.
• "Who says so other than you?" - This is a subset of the previous question.  When you claim something about your product/service, remember that your word doesn't mean much because you stand to gain from the sale of it.  Hence, the buyer will always remain skeptical of your claims.  We are all aware of how unscrupulous salespeople have played up the features and benefits of whatever they're selling, so that only brings up a defensive barrier.  A testimonial that specifically backs up your claim will come in handy here.
• "What do I get?" and "What's in it for me?" - You prepare for this question by making sure you know what gets delivered to your buyer if and when he makes the purchase.  Make sure to equate features with benefits that are important to your prospect.  Just like in real estate, when you present, you have to know what comes with the house and what doesn't.  You can't say "I'm not sure..." because that will definitely cast doubt on your competence, even if it's not your fault that you don't have the information because the seller/developer withheld it from you.  In other words, it's your job to find out everything you can about the product/service that you're selling so you can inform your prospect what's included and what benefits he will enjoy that will satisfy a need/want, and/or alleviate his dissatisfaction, and/or solve his problem.

More Sales!!!
Jon